Thursday, 10 June 2010

One Step Forward... And Two Steps Back.

Hello hello,

I feel like I am basically fighting a losing battle with this thing actually. A LO reading two days ago to a reading of 20.7 last night just seems impossibly ridiculous to deal with. Both suggesting opposite changes to my regime. Both making me feel terrible. And both making me very upset and frustrated. What was a very lovely reunion with some friends that I haven't seen for ages turned sour and, once again, I ended up crying. Well, more like sobbing really, I'm really despairing now. Lots of water, lots of trips to the toilet and lots of the sky planner watched just to keep me awake. Stayed up till 3.30am watching them slowly go down, but still waking on 11 this morning wasn't what I'd hoped for.

I'm tired and angry and upset.
And today is a day where I just need my pancreas to buck its ideas up and start working properly again.

Not one to think of things in big scary terms, I never usually even consider the term "forever." But right now, living with diabetes "forever" just seems impossible.

Tomorrow, I might say I'm determined to get back on track and tackle these blood sugars head on. But today. Well today I'm just frazzled. I have't the energy or the attitude to tackle anything head on today.

Cuddles would be lovely.



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