Monday, 7 June 2010

Shorty got LO LO LO LO....

Hello everyone,

Well, I'm going to ignore the topic I was originally going to blog about today after being diverted by a particularly crappy day today. I ventured into town today, mainly just to go to River Island for a certain blazer, which is actually gorgeous and incidentally they didn't actually have any size 12's left in stock, which was very annoying. Anyway, blazer issues aside, I had the scariest incident so far on my diabetes journey. I'd gone into and out of River Island after my unsuccessful blazer hunt and was feeling disheartened and in that sort of mood when you can't be bothered. So, I started the walk back to my car and started to feel very very wobbly. Stopped in the street to test. 5,4,3...hurry up, 2, 1...



I was very scared, immediately panicked, especially as I was by myself. I dug out the lucozade and started desperately guzzling it. Then I walked into the nearest shop, happened to be a Fatso's sandwich shop, just to seek a bit of reassurance that I would be somewhere safe in case anything happened. I explained in a shaking voice "Hi, I was wondering if you could just keep an eye on me, I'm diabetic and my sugar's really low." The two women in the shop were extremely friendly and helpful and they let me sit behind the counter (on a box of potatoes because they didn't have any chairs) and checked that I was ok. I felt like a bit of a tool asking for help but I knew it was the best thing to do, and I'm actually proud of myself for being brave enough to ask. Even though the short flash of confidence only came because I was in such a panic. They let me sit there until I felt well enough, were really sweet about it all, and they gave me a few bottles of lucozade to replace the 1 and a half I'd guzzled down.

I always say how much I appreciate my friends and family helping me out, but this has shown me that the kindness of random strangers can also be incredibly important and invaluable when it comes to diabetes. Although, I can't knock the support of my friends and family again today. One of my friends was already in town from college so he came and met me and I felt much safer once he was around. Also our chat and drive home cheered me up a lot. My Mam was also just on the end of the phone, and was even going to come and collect me from town if I didn't feel well enough to drive. My boyfriend was then on hand later on for kisses, cuddles and very cold hands that made my headache a little better. Once again they all came up trumps and I couldn't love them any more.

Anyway, far too much lucozade, a massive over correction and a lot of despairing later I haven't yet seen below ten, the highest being 16.4. I have a horrible headache, I'm in a really shitty mood, I'm weeing like a tap that's jammed on and today has officially been marked down as a diabetic downer. A low point. Hang on, a "lo" point.

I'm scared it's going to make me even more anxious about everything and even more scared of hypos. I'm scared that I managed to get that low before I realised. I'm despairing over it all again. I really really don't want this relentless condition any more. Ohh, I could cry right now, but I won't. I'm very concious that I cry too much as it is.

So, maybe I should remember my principles and try and make today seem a little better by taking all the good things from it, however little they may be. Erm.. let me think. Seeing Adam again. Antony hugs. Oh, and the title of this blog entry, it's genius if I do say so myself.

So, I best get back to my night; snuggled up on the sofa with my duvet and lots of layers, watching tv, trying to get rid of this headache and feeling sorry for myself.
Tomorrow's a new day I guess.

Thanks for reading.

Ps. I could really use a hug right now please. This cartoon (right) made me go aww.


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